When You Know Better, You Do Better

When I was young—in fact, all throughout my childhood—my mom always told us, “If they love you, they will wait.”  I hid this in my heart even during undergrad when it seemed that all of my schoolmates were wild and crazy behind closed doors.  Not long after graduation and especially after I turned 25, my friends began to snicker that I would be like Steve Carell’s character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Can you imagine that?  At 25, my friends were predicting my sex life for the next 15 years.

At some point, I gave in to their jokes and my boyfriend’s persistence.  When we met, he at almost 10 years older than me, told me that he was looking for his wife.  Little did I know, this is a common line in his home country.  Immediately after we did the deed, I knew he wasn’t “The One.” But I tried to tell myself, “You can learn to love him.”  What ensued was a long and tumultuous relationship that eventually turned into a dramatic “Whatever We’re Calling This.”  Little did I know, he was he was in a “traditional” marriage when we met—not legal, but still respected in his home country.  Little did I know, I broke up this marriage.  Little did I know, I was the first person he ever actually loved.  Little did I know, that still wouldn’t keep him from cheating.  Little did I know, he would go to the ends of the earth, implementing every strategy in his arsenal to keep me at his side.

So, I moved.  It was in Houston that I became a stronger person, more confident in saying “No.”  This new-found strength not only helped me excel at my career, but it also brought me back to myself in my relationships.  No longer was I relaxing my standards for the sake of the affection.  The Nashville guy (as I’ll call him) was extremely chivalrous and extremely accommodating.  I never wanted for anything and I never had to beg.  He took better care of me than my father did.  We talked about our hopes and dreams. Our conversations often turned to new ways to foster the creation of wealth and jobs.  He is a small business owner.  Though he was just keeping his head above water when we met, our conversations constantly centered on growth especially while I was in the process of obtaining my MBA. I loved that about our relationship. 

At some point during our “Whatever We’re Calling This,” he amassed and was able to sustain the type of salary where one could say, “Financially, I lack nothing.”  He was never one to keep up with the Joneses.  To this day, he continues to shop at the Goodwill and would commend me during our relationship for finding good deals on everything.  I’ve never paid full price for anything.  I remember him once calling me from a Goodwill location asking me about a price on a table he saw, wanting to know if it was a good deal.  I still laugh at his attentiveness, listening to my every word and immediately texting me pictures so that I could help him determine if this thing he didn’t need should be bought.

But in the back of my mind I knew our relationship wouldn’t work.  It was not sustainable long-term.  I wanted to be married and the older I was getting, I knew that no matter what he said, marriage wouldn’t be in the cards for him nor would marriage be the appropriate thing for us to do together.  My time in Houston had made me stronger.  I knew this.  I also knew in order to make room for Mr. Right, I had to completely walk away.

People always say, “The good Lord works in mysterious ways.”  At some point in living with my parents and working part time jobs to keep bills paid while I worked on my entrepreneurial dreams, I had a pregnancy scare.  Not only was I livid, I called him and railed.  He cracked jokes like he didn’t have a care in the world.  In his defense, it would have been nothing for him to take care of a child at his income level.  But the truth remained that I no longer wanted to be tied to him.  I wanted the freedom to be able to walk away at any moment.  So, when my period finally came late as all get out, I texted him.  He texted back, “Amen.” I thought, ‘Amen indeed.’ Amen on the entire saga that has been a good portion of my adult life.  I’m moving on.

My Top Three

I have a crush on Trevor Noah.  But not like that creepy Hollywood stalker crush.  I’ve never been to any of his shows and I don’t think we’ve ever even been in the same city at the same time.  To put this in perspective, I have crushes on two other people that I’ve actually met.  One of them will occasionally like my Instagram pictures and every time I get the notification, I screen shoot it and send it to my sister in Namibia with a bunch of heart eye emojis.  He and I hung out a couple times, then he moved to a new city and, oh well… The other actual crush is on a guy that I’ve fantasized about marrying and knowing. :P  I remember one time, I was talking to him, but I wasn’t looking in his direction.  Then I turned and looked at him.  He was staring at me in a very inquisitive manner that sent a shock through my body once our eyes met.  From that point on, I labeled him The One though I’ve never acted upon any of my feelings.  I don’t even know if they’re real, honestly.  I’m still figuring him out.  But these men are currently my Top Three.  Let me be clear:  If Trevor Noah ever stared at me in a bedroom come-hither type of fashion, I’d probably stare back at him like, “TF you looking at?”  But he’s cute and I like smart guys. *shoulder shrug*

I also have a Top Three in one of my favorite subjects:  books.  The very first book that changed my life was the fiction book The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison.  I remember being assigned this book in my 12^th grade AP English class.  I remember instantly being able to understand every written word that was the embodiment of the main character and becoming so emotionally connected to her.  I knew her struggle.  At that point, I didn’t know books could do that to you.  After reading, I wanted to have a sit-down discussion with my teacher and talk about everything that affected me from reading those pages.  She didn’t really have time and at some point, gave the class an assignment of picking an author, reading three books by that author, then writing an interpolation of their writing style.  Of course, I picked Toni Morrison and read Song of Solomon and two other books.  To this day she is my favorite author.

The second book I read that made a lasting impression on me was The House at Sugar Beach: In Search of a Lost African Childhood by Helene Cooper.  I saw this with a short summary as a recommended reading title in Ebony magazine one year and decided to read it when I noticed that the author was from Liberia.  At the time, I was dating a guy from there and thought it would give me insight into his life and upbringing.  The most fascinating thing to me about that book was not only the way it was written—it was such a captivating read—but there is a part of the story that is etched in my memory forever.  Helene’s family was heavily involved in government leadership and in 1980, there was a coup and the government was overtaken.  Being that their family was no longer safe, her father flees promising to return for them.  She and her sisters are left alone holed up in their home with their mother waiting to leave the country.  At one point in their wait, armed militia breech their enclosure and make their way to their home to raid it.  Though scary, they just take some things and head out until one of the soldiers notices the young Helene and circles back.  Helene’s mother steps in between her daughter and the soldiers and begs them to take her instead of her daughter.  They do, and I remember reading that part of the story in such amazement at her mother’s courage to do whatever it took to protect her children.  I had just graduated college a couple years prior to reading this book and was fascinated with her maternal instinct.  Would I do something like that?  It’s true that you never know what you’ll do until you are actually faced with that situation.

Rounding out my Top Three is Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime.  I read this book in less than 10 hours.  It was that arresting.  Most of what I loved about it is that I learned so much!  Plus, it completely drew me in.  Once while siting on my mother’s couch, I laughed so uncontrollably with my hearty Southern girl laugh and tears rolling down my eyes, that my mother looked up from where she was watching the news and said, “Oh hush!  It’s not that funny!”  But it actually is!  I was reading the chapter where Trevor talks about how he was home alone with his blind great grandmother.  The house had a detached outhouse for its bathroom.  This was simply a small enclosure with a hole in the floor with a toilet seat over it and newspaper for wipes.  Often there’d be flies around the hole and this particular day, it was raining out plus the flies.  Trevor, just waking up from a nap, decided he wasn’t going out there that day.  You’ll have to read what happens next for yourself, but it was funny enough that my mother was seriously annoyed by my laughter.

Born a Crime also provides great first-hand insight into apartheid.  Born in 1984 to a South African mom and a Swiss father, Trevor was literally the product of a crime.  Though his mother had and loved her independence, she could not legally love a white man.  His father, an expatriate, thought the whole idea of apartheid was silly and commenced his secret illegal relationship with the woman from down the hall.  Trevor writes about a childhood where he couldn’t even walk down the street with his own father.  When the family would go places together, his dad would walk on the other side of the street.  They couldn’t play together at the playground and as Trevor got older, his mother would even hire a fair skinned “colored” woman to walk with Trevor while she walked behind them as if she were the help.

This book details the emotional perspective of at least one person who lived through this period of apartheid, something that history books don’t often do.  Trevor also talks about how the creators of the South African apartheid system actually studied slavery in various other countries before putting their system into place with the assumption that it was the “best” of all the chattel systems.  I never knew this.  In addition, Trevor recognizes his mother’s deep faith in God and her belief that Jesus will save you from whatever, wherever, whenever.  This strong faith culminates with a crocodile-tear jerking final chapter of the book as Trevor expresses his love for his mother’s strength and tenacity.  I LOVED this book!  And not because I have a fantasy crush on this guy.  It really is a great book.

Product Review: ORS Monoi Oil

So as I promised my Facebook friends, here’s my second blog for this month!  It’s a whopping two days shy of the end of the month… and on a Friday… after 10pm.  C’est la vie, I guess??  Anyway, I had an in-person interview on Thursday of this week, just before my new Jet delivery of Shea Moisture’s Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Complex arrived in the mail.  I know, I know.  Everybody doesn’t love Shea Moisture anymore, BUT I swear by this complex!  The 2oz bottle is a little pricey at about $10 each, but I can honestly say:  IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY!  Plus, one thing I like about Jet is when you purchase multiples of an item, you get a bigger discount.  I bought four.

Any hoo, back to the purpose of this blog.  I had an in-person interview on Thursday of this week and my tried and true hair product hadn’t arrived yet.  Feeling the need to look my best, I scoured the drug stores for products that would compare.  At a store not too far from my house, I happened upon the ORS™ Monoi Oil line.  There was a 2oz bottle of an Anti-Breakage Oil Fusion with Omega 3 & 6 and an Anti-Breakage Leave-In Conditioning Crème with Omega 3 & 6.  I chose to try them together to get the maximum benefit of the product line.  Plus I loved the fact that they are made with Tahitian Coconut (whatever that means.)  I do know that coconut oil is a very beneficial moisturizing agent for natural hair. 

One of the things I don’t like about the Anti-Breakage Oil Fusion is that the ingredients are not listed on the packaging.  I had a hard time finding them on the website as well.  But it’s a little thicker than the Shea Moisture product and I can tell there is a high concentration of the coconut oil in it. The Anti-Breakage Leave-In Conditioning Crème does have the ingredients listed, however.  The first is water, as is in many products.  The second ingredient is cetearyl alcohol, a texture enhancer.  Most beauty professionals stand behind this ingredient as not being harmful.  But it is partially derived from cetyl alcohol which, in addition to being produced from natural sources such as plants, can also be produced from the end products of the petroleum industry.  It will take more research to find out where ORS™ sources their cetearyl alcohol.  The third ingredient is Canola Oil, then the following ingredients are a combination of natural ingredients and chemicals that other reviewers, for the most part, have listed as “safe” for natural hair.  I will caution you that it does have dimethicone listed near the middle of the long ingredient list.  Dimethicone is a smooth coating that has been deemed questionable as a skin product by beauty experts, but “safe” by the FDA.

Other questionable ingredients are:  Disodium EDTA, which itself is not easily absorbed by the skin, but allows other products to be more easily absorbed; benzyl salicylate which can cause allergic reactions; butylphenyl methylpropional—a synthetic fragrance that replicates the smell of Lily of the Valley which has also been known to cause contact dermatitis; and hydrozysohexyl 3-cyclohexene carbozaldehyde which can cause an allergic reaction if you have pre-existing eczema.

Now, if you’re reading this list like, “Oh, she’s one of those…”  Fret not.  I do have rare cases of eczema flareups and am cautious about what I put on my body.  I am learning more and more each day and with each product I use.  But I will say, the afore mentioned ingredients are at or near the bottom of the ingredient list and I didn’t have any reactions (or objections to) using them.  I do know that there are people who went natural because of various skin sensitivities, so I did want to make you aware. 

I used these products in conjunction with my regular styling products which also contain coconut oil.  It took a day to dry and my next day look was great!  My hair was still shiny the next day, as you can see in a few of the pix, and I expect this style to last until the next wash day, which will be about a week from now.  I co-washed with a product that contained coconut oil just before applying the Oil Fusion, then the Leave-In Conditioning Crème, to wet hair.  I used my regular styling products after that.  My sentiment is:  I liked the price of these products as they were an easy drug store purchase and I will definitely use them again until I’ve used up what’s in these containers.  The jury is still out on whether or not I will actually buy them again.  I have a bit more research to do, such as who manufactures the product, who owns the product and some other facts and figures.  I also bought some Via Natural® Ultra Care oil products that I will be applying to the ends of my hair mid-week, upon the advice I received that older hair needs more attention to retain length.  I will review those in a later blog…  Happy Styling!

Just Let Go. Let It Flow, Let It Flow, Let It Flow...

Ohmigod!  When I tell you that I am so overjoyed—elated, even—that my period started this month??? Ahhh… the sigh of relief.  As I have said in a previous blog, I have Hypothyroidism.  It hasn’t even been a full year since my diagnosis and I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions and medications trying to get it and my weight under control.  I went from a size six to a size 16!  I admit, not all of that was due to my condition, but the last 30-45 lbs. absolutely were.

Since being diagnosed, I have been on a total of four different medications—each in several different dosages.  Yet, with each medication, no matter how hard I worked in the gym, I either still gained weight or couldn’t lose any at all.  Then there were the appetite suppressants and weight-loss drugs that would allow me to lose up to 5lbs in one doctor visit, but gain it all back with a few extra during the next visit.  My doctor remained vigilant, even when I wasn’t, and finally tried eliminating long-term medications from my regiment to see if that would help with the weight loss.

Lo and behold, when she eliminated my birth control, I began to consistently lose weight.  Hallelujer! I was prescribed birth control when I was in my late teens/early 20s because it was determined that I have irregular cycles.  I remember once, several years ago, I stopped taking them and became immediately bewildered and befuddled when my period skipped a month. (Or was it two?) Technically, as long as I menstruate at least 10 months out of the year, I’m fine.  But back then, I didn’t do a good job of keeping up with my cycles.  Praise God for technology!

In trying to figure out how I was going to tackle being off birth control for the sake of my health (and my sanity), I’ve discovered that this is now a “thing”.  Many women are swearing off hormonal contraceptives for various reasons. There is now an entire movement around Fertility Awareness Methods (FAM), born out of the Catholic church, that has inked its way into more secular settings.  It is easier to keep track of your ovulations now with the help of a phone app.  In fact, women’s health phone apps have some of the highest subscribers of all health apps.  The app I use is called Flo.  I’ve only been using it for a couple months, but imagine my surprise when it notified me last Friday that my period was supposed to start that day!  It also allows you to track sleep, exercise, and even vaginal discharges and their variations.  This is all done to help the software better analyze your fertility.  When you log your first period day of the month, you get a series of questions about various bodily functions with multiple choice answer selections like, This always happens, Sometimes, and This never happens.  Once you log your answer, you get a bar graph of how often other women have chosen the same answer and an explanation of why you may be experiencing this particular thing.

This app (and I’m sure similar others) has kept me more informed about my body and its natural progressions than any pill with a doctor visit ever did.  I feel knowledgeable and confident as I prepare not only for my annual Pap Smear but for life and reproductivity in general.  I am embarking on an opportunity to be very well prepared if the day ever comes that I decide to have children.  And who knew trying to keep the upper hand on Hypothyroidism could do that for you?

Fun in the Sun on a Budget

For anybody who does long distance travel, there are tons of tips out there that will help you get to and through your destination with a relatively small budget.  What I found on my most recent trip to Hawaii is that maybe there aren’t as many budget travelers out there as I thought.  I found it interesting that upon arrival and after discussing what we wanted to do on the island of Oahu, another traveler who was not with our party quipped, “You mean you have money left over after getting here?”  We laughed, but I wondered how much his trip costed.

This was my first trip to Hawaii and I traveled in a group of 11 to celebrate my aunt’s retirement last year.  We did use a travel agent and I would definitely recommend that to anybody organizing long distance travel for the first time.  However, this wasn’t my first long distance trip and I do travel domestically often.  If this is also your case, it is very easy to organize your own flights.  There are so many sites that offer this service for you for no additional charge, plus you can often go on the airline’s website and find special sales at any given point in the year.  I have a friend who checks United Airline’s webpage for quick weekend getaways to other countries on a regular basis.  Trips to Belize from Houston, TX can be found in the $200-$300 range often.  Now that my trip to Hawaii is complete, I feel like I could have found better flights to and from Houston.  My group traveled from different cities and the travel agent wanted to make sure we all met in certain airports at the same time.  This wasn’t a necessity for me.  I actually had to leave Houston at 5am and fly to Dallas for a 3hr layover just to meet up with the rest of the group coming from Nashville.  It was a long day for me.  I certainly could have met them in Hawaii and left Houston at a later time.  I had the same experience coming back and left Hawaii at 1pm only to arrive in Houston at 10am the next morning after several long layovers.  I also wondered if I could have found better flights had I not had them all on the same airline.

Hawaii’s number one economic resource is tourism, so naturally, there are a ton of things to do.  Our travel agent suggested that we add sight-seeing tours to our package before we left.  DON’T EVER DO THIS—especially if you are working with an agency.  We were met with a guide at the airport who packed several groups of us up on a bus to take to our respective hotels, then told us there was an orientation the next morning.  This orientation was just to explain “Do’s and Don’ts” for the island—and included a free breakfast.  (Of course, we wanted the free breakfast!)  Lo and behold, during the presentation we were told about all of the fun and exciting things to do on the island and were offered package deals at MUCH CHEAPER RATES than initially quoted before we left.  I literally did everything I could possibly think of to do on that island for around $260.  You can check my Instagram for more pictures.  And when I say everything, I do mean EVERYTHING!  We went to an authentic luau one night that was about four hours long and included traditional food.  The company that drove us to the other side of the island for this event also pointed out different facts about the areas through which we were passing to get there.  On the way back, we saw the hospital where President Obama was born and where he attended high school.  These history lessons were ubiquitous to all of our bus rides.  On the way to our ½ day trip to Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona Memorial (included in the package), historical areas were pointed out to us so that we knew more about the base and the events of that day in addition to recognizing how military life affects the island.  The military is Hawaii’s second economic resource.  That night, we attended a magic show that amused kids and adults alike which also included a light meal.  To round out our package, we took an all-day excursion around the island, stopping at several parks and places that are widely used and visited by locals and movie producers alike.  We learned a lot of history on these excursions thanks to our very knowledgeable bus driver-tour guides.  We stopped at the Dole plantation, we learned about the agriculture (#3 economic resource) and aquatic life, and I even got to harvest my own pearls at one of the jewelry stores that was on a tour stop.

Glass art from Under the Koa Tree

One point I want to make is to be very careful of how you choose to spend your money.  We stayed at a resort that had all kinds of tourist traps located inside.  I had one lady give a detailed explanation of some very intricate glass art made by a local artist as if she were justifying its high price tag, only to find the exact same art sold at a store called Under the Koa Tree for less than half the price.  Waikiki, where we stayed, has less than a three-mile radius.  Under the Koa Tree wasn’t even a full block away from the hotel and featured several local artists’ works at very reasonable prices. One thing that stuck out from our orientation is to be mindful of the tour guide kiosks that line the streets.  Those people tend to make overrated promises that essentially steal your money. 

There are definitely obvious things like going to the beach that are included for free in any trip to Hawaii, but I’m not the beach bum type.  Once that sand started grinding on the bottom of my feet, I’d had my fill.  I enjoyed my trip exponentially and really feel like I had the best time for my money.  Food, which I left out for a reason, is not cheap.  But our resort was down the street from a Denny’s where I ate breakfast when it wasn’t free.  My very first server also showed me how to get the most bang for my buck there by ordering a la carte instead of getting the meals.  I came out cheaper getting the $4 pancakes, eggs and bacon meal then adding hash browns and a juice, than getting the same food in a meal.  I found this to be too much food the first time I ordered it and left the hash browns off the next time.  I had breakfast in Hawaii for the exact same price I’d get it in Houston.  Partly because I sing, partly because I’m always on a diet, I typically only drink juice in the morning at breakfast, then drink water for the rest of the day.  I’ve found this also keeps the price down when I eat out.  

My Koa Wood Necklace

Lastly, if you happen to be reading this from another country (such as somewhere in Asia) and you’re considering visiting the US or Hawaii for the first time, you don’t need to bring your whole life savings with you on this trip, no matter how long you’ll stay.  One of our tour guides told us a story of a foreign couple who accidentally left their bag on the bus.  Frantic, they called him to retrieve the bag and wanted to know if all of the contents were still in it—mainly the $14,000 in cash they’d had in the bag.  Even if you’re going to be in Hawaii for several weeks or up to a month or so, you do not need that much money for this trip, no matter what you’re doing.  In the off chance that you do, try opening an account with one of the local banks or credit unions and getting a debit card to use for the time you’re there.  The cards are insured and you can close the account and take all of your money back when you leave.  Or you can utilize the hotel safe.  My trip was only a week and I needed less than $1000 for everything I had to do, minus the flights.  I picked up quite a few souvenirs at the vendors outside Dukes Lane Market to bring home with me.  I got embroidered t-shirts, leis made from Koa nuts, and a handmade tiki from this market.  You can find some good stuff there.  I recommend going later in the day when the prices are cheaper and the vendors are more willing to bargain.  I hope these tips help those of you who have never traveled or rarely travel long distances.

Life's a B*tch, Pull 'em Panties to the Side Now...

I got my period when I was eleven years old.  One of my earliest memories of my period involving a man is when I was in high school.  I used to get really bad cramps and long cycles.  On this particular day, I went to the bathroom and was sitting on the toilet reaching for a sanitary napkin under the sink, only to find the package empty.  No one was at home but me and my dad.  I was in so much

pain and dripping blood in to the toilet.  I cried out to my dad that we were out of pads and I needed him to go to the store and get some more.  His response was, “Ok, put your clothes on and I’ll take you.”  Startled at the incongruousness of this response, I told him I couldn’t go without a pad and that he needed to go get them himself and come back.  Reluctantly, he finally went by himself while I sat waiting in pain on the toilet, and got the wrong brand.  He meant well, I guess…

Fast forward to my Sophomore year in college when I went in for my first Pap Smear.  I saw my mother’s gynecologist, who was a man.  At that time, my period had abruptly stopped and I didn’t know why.  My mother took me to see the doctor, I had my Pap and some tests run.  In the days of waiting for the results, all types of negative thoughts crept into my head.  What if I can’t have children?  What if I have some type of cancer?  What if I’ll die before I turn 25?  In those moments, I prayed and cried a lot, “God please don’t take my babies.”  When the results came back, it was determined that I have irregular cycles.  At just 19 years old, I was nonchalantly told by the doctor that as long as I menstruate 10 months out of the year, I’d be fine.  His response was so cold and I began to cry.  He prescribed birth control and I left his office.

With these and other experiences involving reproductive organs in my life, I never got the warmth and proprieties from men that I usually get from women.  Yes, they may mean well; but men will never completely understand what it’s like to be a woman faced with decisions involving her reproductive organs. These types of decisions absolutely should be left up to women and women alone.  When considering the issue of abortions, many have come to the aid and the ignominy of women wanting to do what’s best for them and their families.  People from all different backgrounds have weighed in on this discussion.  In my journey to my own opinion, I have encountered many Black people who falsely believe that Planned Parenthood is somehow out to exterminate the Black race.  This belief comes from scare tactics of the misinformed who simply want to incite support from people whom they’d otherwise completely disregard.

Having an abortion is something that should be left up to the woman making the decision and her family, not legislators and men who have no idea the excruciatingly emotional heartache of the mother and the financial ties to that decision.  Its abhorrent that these same people who fight so hard against abortions do absolutely nothing for eradicating poverty or even working to help those struggling with the ability to have children.  So, what’s really behind this fight?  This research shows the racial makeup by state of women who have abortions in this country.  This fight has absolutely nothing to do with eliminating the Black race in this country, and without the ability to fully understand what is at stake for the mother and family in each individual situation, it’s definitely not a charge men should spearhead and fight to create legislation against its legalization.

Hold On, You Said What??

Back in 2008-2009, I was diagnosed with Diabetes.  It wasn’t so much that I was overweight—which I was—but it was more so because I was taking a medication at the time that caused my blood glucose levels to rise.  I remember my doctor telling me when she gave me my prescription that I needed to watch what I ate.  But that was all she said, and I loved bread.  Because I was diagnosed, we changed my medication and I was swiftly “prescribed” diet and exercise (she actually wrote a prescription for it.)  At the time, all I could think about was how both my parents had to be pricked every morning for testing and I hate needles.  I took my prescription very seriously and lost a considerable amount of weight.  So much so, that my doctor asked me how I did it.

I was 31 then and had just started grad school.  My friends and family watched me slim down so

quickly that it was hard for me to keep clothes in my size.  I consigned and gave away a lot then.  When I finally reached a plateau that made my dietician say, “Yeah, sometimes the body just stops at a certain weight,” I was content with my size.  I loved hanging out with friends for dinner after class and watching them listen intently as I gave my two-cents on proper eating and exercise habits.  I loved how once when some friends and I had lunch in The Gulch in the middle of the day, as we were waiting outside for the valet, two guys drove by in a very expensive vehicle and the guy in the passenger side just couldn’t stop staring at me.  I acknowledged him with a, “How are you doing?” and they went on their way.  My friends joked that I was really grabbing the attention.  I LOVED that feeling!! 

Fast forward a few years when I was prescribed a different medication for the same condition.  A new doctor at the time said, “Have you ever taken a steroid?”  I said, “No,” and she wrote the prescription and I left her office.  After having been on the medication for a few weeks, I couldn’t figure out why I was so hungry all of the time!  I would literally eat a big meal and be hungry again less than two hours later.  I asked my pharmacist one night about the medication, asking if it was normal.  Her response was, “Yes.  It’s a steroid.  You have to break your meals up over time so that you don’t eat as much.  You can’t eat a full meal in one sitting.”  I was livid!  How dare my doctor not tell me this!  I had even stopped working out thinking somehow that was affecting my hunger.  By this time, I had gained 35lbs while I was already trying to lose 15.

When I moved to Texas, I decided I was going to turn over a new leaf and finally lose that weight.  I joined a gym and when the weight wasn’t coming off fast enough, I added their trainer to my membership.  I lost three pounds and felt like my life was getting back on track.  Shortly after, I had a disagreement with the gym and decided to cancel my membership.  I thought since I was doing so well, I’d apply what I’d learned and work out on my own.  Some time during that time frame, I stopped losing pounds.  I hired another trainer.  In 2016, back at my original overweight size—plus I think an additional 15 breakfast taco and Kolache pounds, I registered for a week-long organizational conference that happens every two years.  I’d been to several of these in the past and knew that with all of the walking and little time to eat a heavy meal, I’d most definitely lose 1-2lbs.  Excited to weigh myself when I got back I noticed that I’d actually gained five pounds.  Talking to my trainer about it, she encouraged me to see my doctor saying this was not normal. 

After several tests, it was discovered that I have Hypothyroidism.  I was initially devastated.  I think I even cried in my doctor's office.  From what I knew about the disease, what stood out to me the most is something a former classmate said her doctor told her when she was diagnosed:  It’s going to be hard for you to lose weight.  I told my doctor my fear of being overweight for the rest of my life and she reassured me, saying that other doctor was wrong and I’d definitely be able to get the weight off.  Side note:  Unbeknownst to me at the time, she’d worked in a weight-loss clinic for part of her career.  I doubted her, but I’d try anyway.

Around the time of my diagnosis, I remember hearing stories in the news about how Oprah, who also

Oprah 2012

has my condition, had lost 40lbs.  She’s in her 60s.  (In case you don’t remember what she looked like, here are before and after photos.)  Determined that if she could lose weight at twice my age, I decided so could I.  I was motivated and became focused on cardio and strength training throughout the week and seeing my trainer first thing on Saturday mornings.  Progress was very slow.  I would lose a few pounds here, then eat a sandwich or a pastry there and gain it all back within a week.  It was frustrating.  In my head, I blamed my trainer for not making the Saturday workouts strenuous enough.  She would give me homework to do during the week and I started to question that as well.  Then there was the fact that I worked long hours and oftentimes came home and just didn’t feel like it.  I cried.  I prayed.  I asked my doctor, who always said my blood work was “normal”, if something else could

Oprah 2017

be the matter.  I consulted friends and asked my doctor to change my medication.

About a month ago, I went in for my blood work results and sat there as my doctor looked over the several sheets of information saying everything “looked good.”  Determined, I asked her to explain the numbers to me, specifically my T3/T4 count.  She showed me the sheet and said, “See?  You’re in the normal range.”  I noticed the number was on the lower end of normal and asked, “So is the goal to have a low number or a high number?”  She explained the higher number was the better number.  I asked her to up my dosage.   I also stepped my workouts up to two-a-days on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, continuing to do cardio on Mondays and Fridays and challenging myself on Saturdays.  I weighed myself religiously and even when I hung out with a friend and she commented that I’d lost weight, I didn’t believe her because I knew my scale hadn’t budged.

Last month's blood work

Last week, I saw my doctor and we discussed how I was feeling.  I told her that I could tell my stomach felt different on my thighs when I stretched so I thought I was gaining muscle.  She looked up at me and said, “Well you’ve lost five pounds…”  I’ve never been so excited in my life!  I felt vindicated!  My friend wasn’t just “being nice” after all!  I had more testing done and have to see her in two weeks for the results.  I pray that everything is still normal.  This has been a long journey for me and I am determined to get back down.  My goal weight is the same size I was just a few short years ago and I now know that is possible.  I have never been so excited to lose a measly five pounds (and holding) in my life!  I just pray that my results from my blood work are normal…